Friday, July 29, 2005

The Superstarra-ville Community Theatre's 'Ville Vaudevillians
an excerpt from:

Christie's Ongoing Adventures on The Los Angeles Metropolitan Transportation System

Scene 1
Lights up on our heroine, Christie, sitting on the bus. In her lap, she has her bag and is attempting cast on for her latest project, Rowan's Hobo Tank in black recycled silk. The seat next to her is empty. Boarding passengers pass her.

Christie [aside]: Please don't sit next to me...I don't want to talk about what I'm making, or have to engage in any needless conversation...

A young man in dirty pants sits down next to her. Christie counts as she casts on her 130 stitches.

Man: Hey, what are you doing?
Christie: Knitting.
Man: Huh?
Christie [louder]: KNITTING.
Man: Oh, I know, you make those round things.
Christie: no.
Man: You make those hats.
Christie: No.
Man: You make those bracelets...
Christie: NO.
Man: Oh.
Christie realizes she doesn't have enough yarn to cast on 130 stitches, so she pulls out her work and begins again. Pause in the 'conversation'.
Man: Hey, I'm on my way to see my PO.
Christie is shocked, but remains stone-faced. She shakes her head and suppresses a laugh.
Christie: Hmm.
Man: You know, parole. Are you on parole?
Christie [not listening]: Uh, yeah.
Man [excited]: You're on parole?!?! For what?
Christie: Oh, I misheard you. No, I'm not on parole. What would I be on...? Nevermind. Listen, I don't really want to talk, I'm just trying to get to where I'm going, man.
Man: Oh. You don't want to talk to me? Oh ok.
Another pause. Christie continues to count and cast, count and cast.
Man: I don't really talk to black girls. You're black, right?
Christie stares straight ahead and pays no attention.
Man [looking out the window at a 4 Brothers movie poster]: Hey, do you think that dark black guy is hot? What's his name, Tyrese?
Christie [annoyed]: NO.
Man: Yeah? Well everybody says he's hot, I don't know why. I don't think he's all that...
Christie stares unblinkingly at the man, then turns her head to look out the window.
Christie [aside]: I should have taken that earlier bus.

Lights down. Scene.