Meme One...1...Uno...Un...Ein

Dani in the NC, my afghan knitting friend, tagged me with this one.

The Premise:
Pick 5 of the following and then complete the sentences.

If I could be a scientist
If I could be a farmer
If I could be a musician
If I could be a doctor
If I could be a painter
If I could be a gardener
If I could be a missionary
If I could be a chef
If I could be an architect
If I could be a linguist
If I could be a psychologist
If I could be a librarian
If I could be an athlete
If I could be a lawyer
If I could be an inn-keeper
If I could be a professor
If I could be a writer
If I could be a llama-rider
If I could be a bonnie pirate
If I could be an astronaut
If I could be a world famous blogger
If I could be a justice on any one court in the world
If I could be married to any current famous political figure

Wait...what's a bonnie pirate? Nevermind. I think that if I were one I'd want to be Johnny Depp-ish. Tres effeminate male.

1. If I could be a scientist I'd be a biologist. I was always got good grades in biology and it interests me. Maybe I would build a better daisy or research tropical plant's healing properties. I don't think that we need any more crossed fruits...grapples and tangelos are good for now. Or maybe 'd study human genes. That stuff is waaaay cool. I want to know what they're pouring into those test tubes and how that tells them that I'm not destined to be a teen super model. Double helix, baby!

2. If I could be a professor I'd be an acting teacher. I would want to inspire young people in finding their talents. I would want to challenge them to be the best artist they can be...or better yet, the artist they dream they are. Also, it would give me opportunity to direct and act too! Nothing cooler than that. That's a realistic option.

3. If I could be a painter I'd paint huge canvases or outdoor murals. Maybe abstract. I would want to be cutting edge and original, yet familiar. Then, just to be crazy 'artsy-fartsy' I would paint little tiny pictures. Like a still life on a 2"x2" canvas.

4. If I could be a writer I would write a book about The Hollywood Walk of Fame. It would give details about each recipient and have a system of rating that person's 'worthiness' in light of what they have contributed to the entertainment community. Britney Spears and Ryan Seacreast would score low. Sidney Poitier and Bruce Lee would score high. It's so sad...there's some folks who have stars that we just don't know about, and some that we don't really need to remember.

5. If I could be a chef I'd be a pastry chef. Desserts and tortes and cakes and pies...I guess I'd be called a baker. None of that low fat, I'm watching my weight shit. I'm talking about baking with butter and heavy cream and crammed with calories and sugar and fat. All the things that make dessert sinful. I would wear a red chef's hat with horns. I would be fat. I would be happy. I would make the world a sweeter place!!! mmMMmmMm...I want something sweet now!