Friday, April 04, 2008

Aunt Becky

I found out my favorite Great Aunt died last night. Even though there was about 60 years and a whole country between us, we were extremely enamored with each other. I would call and send her cards, but never as often as I should have. She would always tell me how much she loved the silly little cards and notes I had written over the years and how much they would make her happy when she was sitting alone in her apartment. Regardless of my lack of writing or calling, she was always in my thoughts and those thoughts never ceased in making me smile.

I suppose we all knew it was coming. She was in her 90's. And she did get very sick back in February but by all accounts from my New York cousins, she was doing much better. Still, I would dread anytime my parents called me. Was Dad calling me to tell me Aunt Becky was gone? I would imagine how I would take it. Would I be sad? Would I cry? How would I feel?

Last night, when the call did come, it wasn't from my dad but my sister. Dad had sent the news out in an email. And I can't blame him, there is a lot of family all across the country and not a lot of detail to be had. Besides he was probably more concerned about how to break the news to his mother who would no doubt be devastated at the loss of her last living sister.

So today I'm at work and the day isn't different from any other day. I feel a little melancholy, a little quiet, a little introspective. But I haven't let myself dwell too much on it. I love her very dearly and want to just remember her in all the ways I can. Like when I was a kid, we would have a huge fish fry/crab cook at my parents house during one of her many summertime visits. She would tell us stories about her beer drinking parakeet and how he would fall over drunk. Or her voice on the other end of the phone laughing and calling me a 'freshpot' for saying something sassy to her. I know she's in a better place and that she's free from any of the pain she was that's a comfort. But still, I'll miss her. More so than before because I no longer have the luxury of just picking up the phone and saying hello. It's okay though. She'll continue to be in my daily thoughts. And I know those thoughts will never cease to make me smile.